“So anyway, yes in the original fairytale, she fucking unalives herself and turns into sea foam. This comp het, your-only-goal-in-life-is-to-find-a-husband, romantic-love-is-the-pinnacle-of-all-human-relationships-and-therefore-should-be-the-sole focus-of-everything-everywhere nonsense has gotten so far out of hand, we can’t even have a decent retelling of a Grimm fair –
“s’notGrimmsmmm”. Scully interjected around a large bite of snail kibble.
“What? – and don’t talk with your mouthful, a snail of your stature should have more manners.”
Scully cleared his throat and drew himself up to his full 4 inch height, “what I said was, That’s not a Grimm’s fairytale. The Little Mermaid, it’s Hans Christian Andersen innit?”
Deidre scowled at her friend, “that’s not the point and you know it, quit being such a man”
“that’s not fair, a fellow can’t help how he’s born, dat’s the whole point, innit?”
“the point of what?
“YOUR point, christ on a bike and I thought dogs were dense,” he muttered to himself. “THE point, as it were. People are people, women are people, snails are people, people have infinity relationships of all kinds and making ONE kind the end all be all of everything is stupid innit?”
Deidre paused and looked Scully dead in the eye stalks – “I didn’t know you were listening” she muttered, almost to herself.
“Of course I listen to you, you’re my best friend. The whole point as it were.”
Deidre blinked back the tears threatening to spill down her face from the sheer sweetness, and scooped her friend up carefully by his gorgeous skull-patterned shell.
“come on cutie, I think someone needs a jumbo lavender lemongrass ice cream”.
Leigh Fisher 