How to Work from Home

Set your alarm for your normal time and then snooze it for 2 hours.

Finally get up because your cat and/or dog and/or child needs to be fed or something. 

Get dressed in real clothes, by real clothes I mean your activewear so you can work out before you log on. 

Stare at your workout gear/yoga mat for 5 minutes. 

Make coffee. 

Stare at your yoga mat/workout gear for 5 more minutes. Decide to work out at lunch.  

Check emails, respond to angry clients angrily in your head, then write a supes profesh email that starts with “per my previous email”. 

Accidentally drink the entire pot of coffee in less than 45 minutes. You can now hear colors. 

Open your first project of the day, work for 5 minutes, feel lonely, check social media. 

Argue with an anti-vaxxer/flat-earther/pandemic denier for 30 minutes. Realize you are filled with rage and should burn it off. Stare at work out gear/yoga mat for 5 minutes. 

Decide coffee is the answer to your rage then remember you already drank it all. Make more. 

Work for 5 minutes, why is your computer screen shaking? Oh no that’s your eyeballs from the caffeine. 

Realize it’s lunchtime and that you never ate breakfast. open and close fridge door 8 times. 

Stare at all the well intention vegetables and lean protein that is mocking you from it’s original, unprepared state. 

Make one of your child’s microwave mac n cheese cups. 

Open your computer and log back on, work for 30 minutes! Go you! Remember you were supposed to work out at lunch.

Stare at yoga mat/work out gear for 5 minutes. 

Decided to work out after you get more work done. 

Work for 2 more hours but only get about 15 minutes of actual work done. 

Fall asleep for a minute when the caffeine crash hits. 

Stare at your workout gear/yoga mat for 5 minutes. 

Take a nap.