Warning!!!!

******Spoilers for Avengers Endgame inside*******
******Spoilers for Avengers Endgame inside*******
******Spoilers for Avengers Endgame inside*******
******Spoilers for Avengers Endgame inside*******
******Spoilers for Avengers Endgame inside*******
******Spoilers for Avengers Endgame inside*******
******Spoilers for Avengers Endgame inside*******

REALLY. Spoilers sweetie.

Oh Hemsworth. You are so cute and aussie and sex on a stick that not even a bad fat suit can dim your glory. And I’ll admit I did laugh a little at the “reveal”, I mean in a movie that was seriously lacking the trademark Marvel humor, we were scrambling for anything to cling too and in the moment, Thor’s new dad bod provided a bit of much-needed relief. But the more I think about it it, the more pissed off I am.

My first thoughts told me I was just mad about it because I didn’t get shirtless lickable hotness. Then my second thoughts told me that this will hurt someone’s feelings but that I’m overreacting and the world is not a trigger warning. But my third thoughts, my third thoughts are fucking raging. How dare you!!! How dare you do this!?!! How dare you take what is arguably a standard shape for nerd boys everywhere and point to it and say: See what depression does?? See what loss does? It makes you a fat lazy asshole. Bahahaha. Fat people are lazy and sad and stupid! YOU ARE LAZY AND SAD AND STUPID.

I keep thinking about a lot of my friends in the fight community I am part of. These are people that train hard, train consistently, are strong AS FUCK and would honestly stand a decent chance in a gladiator-style battle arena, and you know what? Many of these hard-working, strong as fuck people look more like stoner Thor than Ragnarok Thor. and they are cute, sexy, loveable beasts (calm down guys). And I’d bet actual money that at least one of these sexy beast type boys will see the portrayal of Thor in this way and they will leave feeling like shit about themselves.

Who on earth thought that watching a beloved hero turn to alcoholism to deal with overwhelming trauma should be funny? But more importantly – Why is fat Thor funny? Are fat people funny? Thor’s new stoner bod looks like most of the people that you know, are they funny? Unloveable? Unfuckable? Would you still think it was funny if they made Black Widow a fat drunk?

Really, Marvel, I’m HERE for a superhero of size, but don’t write any more bad fat jokes mmmkay? They fall flatter than all the Chris’s washboard abs.